


Standards

by HyperGinger



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6505813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperGinger/pseuds/HyperGinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a series of unsuccessful relationships, Volkner decides to accept Flint’s advice in finding a girlfriend.  For some reason, Flint can’t find a girl who’s good enough for him.  Ignitionshipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Standards

“So, Volk, how are things going with…who is it these days? Uh…Erika, right?”

“Nah, I broke up with her a couple of weeks ago. She was always high. I don’t think she even noticed when I dumped her.”

Flint chuckled and leaned back into the couch next to his best friend as they played Mariokart. “So you’re single, then? Man, I can hardly keep track these days.”

Volkner sighed, and Flint wasn’t sure whether it was about his sex life or the fact that he had just gotten hit by a spiny shell. “Maylene just dumped me today, actually.”

“Well, that explains the black eye, at least. I guess it’s better than that Skyla chick. Didn’t she try to shoot you out of a cannon?” Flint laughed again as his character dropped a banana and Volkner’s kart immediately ran into it and spun out.

Volkner shifted awkwardly. “It was safer than it looked,” he defended weakly. “Besides, I think Clair takes the cake. Have you ever been attacked by a Kingdra? Dragon Pulse freakin’ hurts, dude.”

Flint shook his head and smiled as Volkner’s character fell off the edge again, planting him in seventh place. “That’s what you get for calling Lance a cheater. Everyone knows she has that weird cousin complex thing going on,” Flint said knowingly as his kart sailed past the finish line, netting him first place.

“Well, he IS a cheater! His Dragonites should CLEARLY still be Dragonairs. All THREE of them.” Volkner flumped back onto the couch and dropped his controller in exasperation as one last red shell cemented his failure in last place. “Flint, I hate to say this, but…I think I need help.”

“I’ll say,” Flint snickered. “You haven’t won a single race. Maybe you should switch characters; I’m not even subjecting you to Rainbow Road, and you’re still falling off the map every five seconds.”

“Not in Mariokart, you idiot! I mean…I keep winding up dating these complete psychopaths. I don’t have the energy for this, man. How come you never wind up with any messy breakups?”

“Helps that I don’t date that much, you know.” Flint took a sip of his soda before he froze, a grin spreading over his face. “Hey, that’s your problem, Volk! You date every woman who likes you. You have to be more selective and stop dating the crazy ones!”

Volkner raised an eyebrow. “Exactly how am I supposed to figure out which ones are the crazy ones? They all SEEMED pretty normal. It’s not like I can ask you to pass judgment on every girl I want to date and help me make sure that—Flint. Why are you smirking at me like that?”

\--

“Roxie’s kind of cool, you know?”

Flint shook his head. “Definitely not. That toxic personality of hers is way too scary.”

“So how about Candice? She’s cute.”

“No way, dude. She’s too cold. You need someone with real fire to cancel out your laziness.”

Volkner cocked his head and ignored the jibe. “Fire? Well, what about Flannery? That’s fire for you,” he started, but Flint was already shaking his head emphatically. “Another no?”

“Nope. Wouldn’t work.” Flint stared at his Poké balls and several items on the floor where he sat at Volkner’s feet. Before Volkner could ask why, he changed the subject. “Hey, which item do you think my Houndoom should hold, an Air Balloon or a Shuca Berry? We need a strategy the next time our opponents try to Earthquake us into the ground.”

From up on the edge of his bed, Volkner looked down at Flint, who sat between his legs. “Shuca Berry for Houndoom, Air Balloon for Flareon. If you’re using Flare Blitz, Flareon can’t afford any extra damage, so it’s best to avoid all ground attacks.”

Flint bristled at this and glared up at his friend. “My Flareon isn’t fragile!” Volkner shrugged in response.

“Suit yourself. I know Jolteon’s limits; that’s why I give it a Focus Sash.”

Allowing that, Flint fidgeted on the floor a bit self-consciously, looking back down at the Poké balls. “Volkner…you’re still keeping Electivire’s Sitrus Berry and ball seals, right?”

Flint didn’t look up, but he could tell Volkner was grinning. “Yeah. I am. I wouldn’t want to mess with your obsessive need to have us match in our double battles. Why is it like that with you, anyway? You’re so weird, Flint.”

“I—I just want to show people that we make a great team, that’s all! No one can compete with us, and I want our teams to show that! It’s not weird. Plenty of people do that! Like Tate and Liza, and…uh…”

“…And young couples and honeymooners?” Volkner’s smile only grew as Flint sputtered and looked back down, regarding the carpet with more intensity than it probably deserved. “Calm down, Flint, I’m only teasing.” As a way of apology, he reached down and ran a hand through Flint’s hair.

As it always did in this situation, Flint’s scalp tingled with the action, and he had to suppress a small, slightly embarrassing noise building in the back of his throat. This was often how Volkner apologized for teasing him. Neither said it out loud, but both friends knew very well that Flint never allowed anyone else to touch his hair, not even Buck. It was just one of those things they did that made Flint think that maybe their friendship was a little off. Did other guys stroke each other’s hair? He didn’t think so, but he wasn’t going to complain. Wanting to break the silence, he sighed and said, “Why can’t romance be as simple as double battling?”

Volkner hummed. “Well, lately…I’ve kind of been wondering if maybe—“

_Bzzzzzzzzt_

Volkner was cut off by the obnoxious buzzing of Flint’s phone, which he answered with a hasty apology. Volkner carefully extracted his hand from the afro in front of him so its owner could stand and take the call in another room. Idly listening to the hushed tones in the next room, he let out a deep exhale and flopped lazily onto his back, closing his eyes to block out the blaring light on his ceiling.

A minute later, he was roused by a poke to his stomach, causing him to flinch as he noticed Flint had returned and was standing above him. “That was Cynthia. She has some league stuff she wants to go over with us, so I have to fly back to the Pokémon League for a bit. What were you going to say before I left?”

Volkner hesitated for a second before standing up. “Ah…I don’t remember. Must not have been too important. I’ll walk you out.”

\--

“Alright, that’s a wrap, guys. Thanks for coming. I trust you all understand the importance of proper EV training now, right?” The Elite Four members grumbled. “I said, RIGHT?!”

“Right!”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Naturally.”

Cynthia stood from her chair at the conference table, smoothing down her blouse as she did so. “Great. I know this was kind of a long meeting, so I appreciate you four bearing with me. Are there any questions?” Cynthia looked around at her fellow League members. “Flint, you don’t have to raise your hand. What is it?”

Flint squirmed a little in his seat with uncharacteristic nervousness. “This is completely off-topic, but I need a bit of advice on something. Can you guys help me out?”

Aaron blinked. “Flint, what’s up? Of course we can help. What is it?”

“We’re always here to help you out, Flint,” Bertha said comfortingly. “What’s wrong, dear?”

Lucian, who had already started to pull a book out from his bag in anticipation of the meeting’s end, replaced it below the table. “What seems to be the trouble? Surely we can help.”

Cynthia raised an eyebrow. “Well, we can hardly know whether we can help if we don’t know the problem.”

Flint relaxed his shoulders a bit before continuing. “Well, you see, I need to help Volkner with something. He’s been having relationship troubles lately, so I’ve been trying to find a girl who’d be a good match for him, but—“

“Wait…a girl? I thought you and Volkn—oof!” Aaron was cut off by an elbow to his ribs, courtesy of Lucian.

Flint cocked an eyebrow. “Me and Volkner? What about us?”

Lucian cut in for his fellow Elite Four member. “Nothing, Flint. Please go on.”

Shaking his head a bit in confusion, Flint continued. “Anyway, he asked for my help in finding him a girlfriend, but I can’t think of any girl who’d suit him. No one’s good enough,” he finished, looking down at the table in frustration.

Aaron snickered. “Maybe you can’t find a GIRL who’s good enough because you—ow! Lucian, stop doing that!”

Withdrawing his elbow, Lucian interrupted gracefully. “Men are never really honest with themselves, are they?” He looked away with a slight smile and chuckled a bit underneath his breath.

Seeing Flint’s increased confusion, Bertha tried to clear things up. “Child, I think what these two mean is that the perfect…partner…for your, mm, friend,” she coughed a bit at this, “might perhaps be right under his nose.”

Flint crossed his arms. “Well, that’s all well and good, but Volkner doesn’t hang out with too many girls, so that can’t be right. He’s really only close with me.” An awkward silence hung in the air, but Flint continued on undeterred. “Can’t you guys think of anyone who’d go well with him?”

Finally, Cynthia chimed in with a thoughtful smile. “If you really can’t think of anyone, I have a friend from Unova who might work. She’s a supermodel, and she even works with Electric-types. Have you ever heard of her? Her name’s Elesa.”

Aaron couldn’t help but interject once again. “Elesa? But isn’t she—ouch! God dammit, Lucian!”

Opting to ignore Aaron, Flint perked up. “Wow, she sounds perfect. Wait…she’s not crazy or anything, right? No criminal record, history of aggression, homicidal tendencies…?” Met with looks of confusion, Flint decided to move on. “How can I contact her, then?”

Cynthia gave a peculiar smile. “I’ll give you her number.” 

\--

Getting Volkner to agree to the date was more difficult than expected. “She’s the gym leader in Nimbasa, and she trains Electric types just like you do! She’s a supermodel, too. C’mon, Volk, this’ll be perfect!” Flint clapped his friend on the shoulder, trying to get him excited for the prospect.

Volkner looked with dull detachment at the hand that remained on his shoulder and shrugged. “Well, what does she look like?”

Flint smiled, feeling hopeful as he said, “Well, she’s really tall. Taller than us by about half a foot, actually.” Volkner’s expression didn’t change. “She’s naturally blonde…” Volkner’s face soured a bit, “…but she sometimes dyes it black.” Volkner’s expression fell further. “What, you don’t like blondes or brunettes?”

“Not really, but whatever. I guess I can give it a shot.”

Flint’s face brightened. “Great! I KNOW you’ll like this girl, Volk. She’ll be perfect for you.”

Volkner looked away but gave a strained grin. He looked a bit how Flint felt. “I hope you’re right.” Flint smiled back, but he felt his stomach sink a bit when Volkner agreed. He should have been happy for his friend, so why did he feel a bit sick?

\--

“Infernape, am I a bad friend?”

Flint was met with an inquisitive noise from his right. Shifting to try to find a more comfortable spot in the bushes, he kept his eyes on Volkner and Elesa as they strolled through Amity Square. Elesa’s two Emolga were teasing Volkner’s Raichu behind them. “I mean, I’m supposed to be happy for Volk, but I’m just getting pissed off right now. This isn’t normal, is it?”

Infernape gave a slight cackle. Unable to argue with that logic, Flint responded, “Yeah, I guess hiding in the bushes and watching your best friend’s date isn’t exactly normal either, is it?” Infernape let out a noise of agreement and gibbered for a while next to him.

“You know I can’t understand it when you use big words like that. You need to tone it down, Mr. Philosopher.” Another series of monkey vocalizations later, Flint balked at his companion. “Infernape, I’ve told you NOT to use that sort of language in public. You’re lucky we’re in Amity Square; if I could, I would immediately put you back in your Poké ball for using that kind of profanity.” Flint could have sworn Infernape was starting to laugh at him.

At the noise, Volkner’s Raichu looked up from the electric squirrels (who were currently yanking at his ears and harassing him with Volt Switch) and spotted Flint, letting out a cute squeak as its eyes brightened with happiness. Flint froze, then held his hands up in a desperate gesture to make Raichu stay where it was. He held up a finger to his mouth in a frantic “shush” motion. Raichu tilted its head in confusion, but then smiled innocently and held its paw up to its mouth in an adorable imitation of Flint’s motion, probably thinking this was some sort of game. Flint sighed in relief.

He focused back on the task at hand. Volkner and Elesa were still walking side by side, but there was a sort of separation between them, a tension. Neither had made a move to hold hands with the other. Flint couldn’t hear their light conversation, but he didn’t dare get any closer; it was bad enough that Volkner’s normally oblivious Raichu had seen them. He would die of embarrassment if he was seen spying on them.

Flint couldn’t understand one thing, though. Volkner and Elesa were both beautiful people. They were shining, radiant…even their hair matched. They should have looked like a great couple, but they didn’t; it was the little things, he figured, like how Volkner’s shoulders were tensed instead of having the relaxed look he was used to, they didn’t hold hands, their Pokémon didn’t get along like his and Flint’s did, or…how Volkner wasn’t smiling. He just kept walking with his head down and his hands in his pockets. Elesa had a cordial smile on her face, he noted, but it seemed only skin-deep. This date was awkward, and that fact shouldn’t have made him happy. But it did.

Flint had moved on to actively following the pair, but in the midst of his perusal, he hadn’t noticed a stump in the ground, and he tripped over it with a curse, tumbling to the ground with all the grace of a drunken Magikarp. He threw himself behind a rock wall in mortification (hastily yanking Infernape after him) and heard Volkner’s faint voice.

“What was…”

“What’s wrong?” Elesa’s smooth voice questioned.

“…Nothing. I must have imagined it.”

Once his heart rate fell back to a remotely normal range, Flint turned to his Infernape again. “Alright, buddy, I think I’ve seen enough. Let’s go home.” Infernape tugged at one of his red suspenders and gave him a concerned look. Flint paused and forced a smile to reassure his Pokémon. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks for coming, Infernape.”

\--

Once home, Flint flopped lazily down on his couch and leaned his head back to stare at his ceiling fan, doing his best not to contemplate what he had seen. He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there before his phone buzzed. He pulled it from his pocket to find that he had a message from Volkner. He responded quickly.

_Hey, can I come over for a bit? I need to talk to you._

_Sure, what’s wrong?_

_I’ll tell you when I get there._

Flint gave a wry smile. Volkner had a habit of doing that with his conversations; sometimes he wondered if his friend left him in suspense just for fun.

\--

Flint let his best friend in with barely a word, and the two settled into their routine of drinking soda and playing Mariokart. Flint didn’t want to pressure Volkner to talk right away. Unfortunately, neither raced well this time, so to avoid watching the NPCs take the trophies in the awards ceremony, he looked expectantly over at Volkner, who had been surprisingly quiet. Finally, he spoke.

“I told Elesa I can’t go out with her again.”

Flint straightened up, trying to push down the traitorous rush of joy in his gut. “What? Why?”

Volkner put down his controller and stared at his hands. “Flint…I’m sorry. I know you’ve been trying really hard to find a girl for me, but I just can’t do it. It wouldn’t have been fair to her.”

“Wh-what? But…I thought your date was going really w–“ Flint froze when Volkner gave him a knowing look. “Uh…um…I mean, not that I would know!”

Volkner laughed softly and ran a hand through his blonde spikes. “Don’t bother, Flint. I know you were following us.”

“But…wait, how?!”

“Flint. Your walking Pokémon literally had FIRE on its head. Nothing short of a Wailord could possibly be more conspicuous than a freaking Infernape.”

Flint pouted. “Damn, I thought I had you.” He then paused and looked up. “Wait…what wouldn’t have been fair to Elesa? What do you mean?”

For the first time in their conversation, Volkner looked up at his friend. He didn’t speak for a moment. The intensity of his stare made Flint uncomfortable, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

“When I told Elesa I couldn’t date her again, I admitted that I couldn’t go out with any girl right now because I’ve realized recently that there’s someone I already like.” Volkner moved to sit a bit closer to his friend.

Flint gulped at the closeness, and then a glare spread across his face. “Volkner, if you already have someone you like, why did you send me on a wild goose chase instead of just telling me who it is?! I even asked the other Elite Four members for help! Do you have any idea how much it hurt me to—I mean…” Wait, what was he saying?

Volkner silenced his sputtering by reaching a hand into Flint’s hair again, sliding it to the back of his head as he started to close the distance between the two. “I couldn’t tell you because, well…” Volkner halted just an inch from Flint’s face, waiting to see if the other would pull away. When he didn’t, Volkner leaned in the last inch to gently press their lips together, sliding his other hand around his companion’s waist.

The shock held Flint in place for a few seconds, but then he leaned into the kiss and closed his eyes, moving his lips in tandem with Volkner’s. A small noise of satisfaction escaped his throat, but he didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed this time.

Before he could deepen the kiss or get carried away, Volkner pulled away, lightly tugging at Flint’s lower lip with his teeth as he went. “I couldn’t tell you, Flint…because it’s you.”

Flint felt himself trying to follow as Volkner pulled away, heat rushing to his face at the intense way his friend looked at him. He had to forcefully tear his gaze from the other’s lips as he spoke.

“And I know you feel the same way. You rejected every girl I suggested because you didn’t want to picture me with anyone else. Even when I agreed to date Elesa, you weren’t happy, and you even stalked us. You’re really obvious, you know that?” Volkner pulled back to take hold of Flint’s hands.

Finding his voice at last, Flint cleared his throat self-consciously. “When did you start…feeling this way about me?” he asked hesitantly.

“I…I’m not sure, but I think it’s been a long time coming. There’s a reason none of my other relationships worked out; I could never fully dedicate myself to a girl when I already had you.” Volkner laughed. “Heh…I kind of feel bad for them, you know? I can’t say I blame them for being pissed at me.”

Seeing Volkner’s mirthful blue eyes made Flint smile. “I’m not really sure when it started, but…I think I’m the same way. All this time, trying to set you up with girls…I was pissed off the whole time. It was different before when I knew none of your relationships were going to work. That was actually pretty funny, but once things got serious, I couldn’t stop thinking of what would happen if I lost you. I didn’t want you to end up with anyone else, because there’s no one better for you than me.” His trademark grin reappeared. “Who else is gonna pull you up when you’re down in the dumps or pick up the slack in our double battles?”

Volkner’s eyes showed a mischievous glint. “Psh. You’ve got that last one backwards. Besides, there’s more to relationships than double battles.”

Flint’s expression soon matched that of his new boyfriend. “Yeah? Have any ideas?”

Volkner chuckled and leered at him. “A few.”

“I bet it’s nothing that Elesa’s ever done with you,” Flint said teasingly, leaning forward to bury his face in his companion’s neck.

“Yeah, well, you’ll never have to worry about her,” Volkner said with a wry smile as he leaned his head back to offer Flint better access. “You wanna know why?”

Flint paused and frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

\--

Back at the Pokémon League, Bertha and Cynthia were having their weekly chat over tea. It was nice to get a break from the boys every once in a while. Bertha took a sip of tea and addressed her colleague.

“How long do you think it’ll be before Flint and Volkner finally get laid, dearie?”

“Well, if Elesa’s done her job, and I know she has,” Cynthia said with a mysterious smile, “it should be any minute now.”

“By the way, child, what gave you the idea to set your girlfriend up on a fake date with Volkner?” Bertha couldn’t help but ask.

Cynthia leaned in conspiratorially. “Well, my friend, there’s a lot to be said for having a little extra control over the situation.”

End

**Author's Note:**

> If they let you into Amity Square with Pachirisu or Pikachu, they’d surely let you in with an Emolga if it were Generation V, right?


End file.
